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Blackstar Warrior – John Doe’s Mock Trailer of the Moment
Star Wars Finds It's Soul as Blaxploitation.
The retroactive poster for Lando - The Blackstar Warrior
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….there was a badass brother named Lando who fought righteously against the “Dark Lord of Sith”. Standing up to the man and throwing down for the freedom to smuggle the odd illegal substance via the Kessel Run. LC just wants all the bitches and ho’s to know that Vader is going down. After all, he is just another jive ass honky when the mask is off.
Too hip to have come from the mind of George Lucas, imagine if Star Wars was told with Lando Calrissian as the hero and had been inspired by the likes of Shaft and Superfly. Well that’s what this brilliant long lost spin off promises and delivers in its 3 minute running time. (Watch the trailer at the bottom of the page)
Some timely advice
The clip stars Leonard Roberts of Heroes fame as Han’s snake in the grass buddy and the actor embraces the roguish gambler with delight. The hair on the guy playing Solo is a joke in itself, the bass riff music removes the space opera and brings the funk making this a fan film worthy of expansion beyond the moons of Endor.
The delicious retrograde poster is also well thought out with the name of Director Gordon Parks credited. Parks was of course the man behind Shaft and its sequel as well as the unsung Music-Bio gem on the rough and rowdy bluesman Leadbelly. Also included on the spoof poster is Issac Hayes for music and showing respect for the source Lucas and Kasdan for story and screenplay.
Lando and Han hug it out bitch!
Credit where it’s due, now seems like an appropriate time to revisit that classic exchange from Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy too… damn, JD really needs to review Black Dynamite soon. That movie was stone cold cool.
Hooper: Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down, even in a galaxy far, far away. Check this shit: You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god! -
Banky Edwards: What's a Nubian?
Hooper: Shut the fuck up! Now... Vader, he's a spiritual brother, y'know, down with the force and all that good shit. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a light saber and the boy decides he's gonna run the fuckin' universe; gets a whole clan of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the fuck do you call that?
Banky Edwards: Intergalactic civil war?
Hooper: Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy quote, unquote, safe for white folks. And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!
Banky Edwards: Well, isn't that true?
Banky Edwards: What's a Nubian?
Hooper: Shut the fuck up! Now... Vader, he's a spiritual brother, y'know, down with the force and all that good shit. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a light saber and the boy decides he's gonna run the fuckin' universe; gets a whole clan of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the fuck do you call that?
Banky Edwards: Intergalactic civil war?
Hooper: Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy quote, unquote, safe for white folks. And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!
Banky Edwards: Well, isn't that true?
"Chasing Amy" dialogue courtesy of Imdb.com
Blackstar Warrior clip found on Landoistheman.com
Now the moment you have all been waiting for, check out the trailer for Blackstar Warrior.
Horrorphile
And female stormtroopers with bare mid-riffs! Wahey!
Someone's gotta make a feature outta this!
Abstract Magick
Cinema Herald
"All over me like stink on a wookie"
"..if you want to see it, ask yo mamma!"
JD, that is some HIGHlarious shizzz-nit! LOL
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The line you quoted was actually my fave in the clip too..hilarious and femme troopers are always welcome.
Film & TV on DVD
That Wookie line got me too and will probably be used in real life now too as a substitute for "white on rice".
Film & TV on DVD
Film & TV on DVD
Did you click on the "a fan film" link in teh body of my text. That takes you too another of my Star Wars spoof faves regarding 9/11.
Had a look at your post but you didn't write much there.
Nice to have you stop in.
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The other day I wrote quite a bit and people seemed to like it. They even asked me to write more. So I did.
Star War spoof are fun because they speak for themselves. Well...
My questions to you John: Why is Star Wars so much fun to spoof? Why does it get spoofed more than any other film?
Film & TV on DVD
I think something that is so familiar, so endeared and so analyzed is inevitably going to become quality fodder for satire.
The impact it had culturally may never be seen again and with that a broader audience can appreciate when others give it a comedic slant.
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Movie Roar
Well said.