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Film & TV on DVD - John Doe Film News & Reviews

Greetings Film Fiends and welcome to John Doe's Film Blog. 30 years of dedicated celluloid obsession has meant that I have seen a few films. Drawing attention to some of the lesser discussed gems that I love. Cult classics, obscure curios and quality genre pictures. This blogs purpose is to translate some of my passion for these films and with luck, inspire you the reader to go check em out.

Blackstar Warrior – John Doe’s Mock Trailer of the Moment

Star Wars Finds It's Soul as Blaxploitation.

lando, blackstar warrior, star wars, fan film
The retroactive poster for Lando - The Blackstar Warrior

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….there was a badass brother named Lando who fought righteously against the “Dark Lord of Sith”. Standing up to the man and throwing down for the freedom to smuggle the odd illegal substance via the Kessel Run. LC just wants all the bitches and ho’s to know that Vader is going down. After all, he is just another jive ass honky when the mask is off.

Too hip to have come from the mind of George Lucas, imagine if Star Wars was told with Lando Calrissian as the hero and had been inspired by the likes of Shaft and Superfly. Well that’s what this brilliant long lost spin off promises and delivers in its 3 minute running time. (Watch the trailer at the bottom of the page)

lando calrissian, star wars, fan art, comedy, billy dee williams
Some timely advice

The clip stars Leonard Roberts of Heroes fame as Han’s snake in the grass buddy and the actor embraces the roguish gambler with delight. The hair on the guy playing Solo is a joke in itself, the bass riff music removes the space opera and brings the funk making this a fan film worthy of expansion beyond the moons of Endor.

The delicious retrograde poster is also well thought out with the name of Director Gordon Parks credited. Parks was of course the man behind Shaft and its sequel as well as the unsung Music-Bio gem on the rough and rowdy bluesman Leadbelly. Also included on the spoof poster is Issac Hayes for music and showing respect for the source Lucas and Kasdan for story and screenplay.

billy dee williams, harrison ford, star wars, lando calrissian, han solo
Lando and Han hug it out bitch!
Billy Dee Williams may be off rescuing Harrison Ford from his frozen in carbonite career, but this mock trailer premiered at San Diego Comic Con last month and really made John Doe laugh. He knows it will appeal to all his readers too.

Credit where it’s due, now seems like an appropriate time to revisit that classic exchange from Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy too… damn, JD really needs to review Black Dynamite soon. That movie was stone cold cool.

Hooper: Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down, even in a galaxy far, far away. Check this shit: You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god! -

Banky Edwards: What's a Nubian?

Hooper: Shut the fuck up! Now... Vader, he's a spiritual brother, y'know, down with the force and all that good shit. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a light saber and the boy decides he's gonna run the fuckin' universe; gets a whole clan of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the fuck do you call that?

Banky Edwards: Intergalactic civil war?

Hooper: Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy quote, unquote, safe for white folks. And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!

Banky Edwards: Well, isn't that true?

"Chasing Amy" dialogue courtesy of

Blackstar Warrior clip found on

Now the moment you have all been waiting for, check out the trailer for Blackstar Warrior.
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12 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]
1. August 10th 2010 @ 23:26. Bryn Says:
Interstellar dynamite baby!!!!
Space ain't black enough to hide from him!
And female stormtroopers with bare mid-riffs! Wahey!
Someone's gotta make a feature outta this!
2. August 11th 2010 @ 01:13. Deni Says:

"All over me like stink on a wookie"

"..if you want to see it, ask yo mamma!"

JD, that is some HIGHlarious shizzz-nit! LOL

3. August 11th 2010 @ 02:14. jon Says:
That was awesome. You've made my day JD.
4. August 11th 2010 @ 03:29. Kenna Says:
Nice write up, I posted the trailer a few days back; it's a nice piece. I love Star Wars Spoof Trailers, this one is in my top five.
5. August 12th 2010 @ 19:26. JohnDoe Says:
"Interstellar dynamite" Damn you Bryn, you came up with a better line than any I used in my bullshitty intro.

The line you quoted was actually my fave in the clip too..hilarious and femme troopers are always welcome.
6. August 12th 2010 @ 19:27. JohnDoe Says:
Glad you dug it Deni!

That Wookie line got me too and will probably be used in real life now too as a substitute for "white on rice".

7. August 12th 2010 @ 19:27. JohnDoe Says:
Happy to spread some joy Jon. That was always the purpose
8. August 12th 2010 @ 19:29. JohnDoe Says:
Hi Kenna,

Did you click on the "a fan film" link in teh body of my text. That takes you too another of my Star Wars spoof faves regarding 9/11.

Had a look at your post but you didn't write much there.

Nice to have you stop in.
9. August 29th 2010 @ 01:22. ShaunK Says:
Sexual Chocolate!

10. August 29th 2010 @ 04:59. Kenna Says:
You got me there John, I didn't write much, bad habit. My usual is to write as much if not more.

The other day I wrote quite a bit and people seemed to like it. They even asked me to write more. So I did.

Star War spoof are fun because they speak for themselves. Well...

My questions to you John: Why is Star Wars so much fun to spoof? Why does it get spoofed more than any other film?
11. August 29th 2010 @ 15:25. JohnDoe Says:
Hi Kenna,

I think something that is so familiar, so endeared and so analyzed is inevitably going to become quality fodder for satire.

The impact it had culturally may never be seen again and with that a broader audience can appreciate when others give it a comedic slant.
12. August 29th 2010 @ 15:56. Kenna Says:

Well said.

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