JohnDoe
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Piranha (2010) – Trailer Included
Piranha 3D poster
Director: Alexandre Aja
Starring: Elizabeth Shue, Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Llyod, Jerry O’ Connell, Ving Rhames, Dina Meyer, Eli Roth, Steven R McQueen, Kelly Brook
"Fish with boobies." - Derek Jones
An up close and personal look at the marine life.
Its shallow exploitation that delivers exactly what the trailer promises, a stripped to the bone blood and splatter fest that is happy to have its lens linger on nubile flesh and the rabid, frenzied mutilation of human body parts.
Richard Dreyfuss on set.
Matt is reported missing in swift fashion by his wife and Sheriff Julie Forrester (Elisabeth Shue) ends up discovering the non devoured portion of his corpse the next day. Already suspecting problems Julie is tempted to “close the beaches” but because Spring Break Weekend just started the tourist dollars are of a higher priority to the locals than public safety.
Now on the loose and free to begin their reign of terror the killer predators have a smorgasbord of fresh meat to gnaw as the hedonistic revelers get into full swing on the holiday resort.
"There are thousands of them and they are pissed!" - Novak
There is blood in the water and only Mr Miyagi could save us.
John Doe Says:
A sample of the gore for those who are squemish beware.
With Piranha Director Alexandre Aja (Haute Tension, The Hills have Eyes) has tunnel vision obsessed with thrilling his audience and stimulating rampant desire for sex and violence. While he has made some missteps in the past with pretension over compensating for plot holes he seems to have found the ideal film to showcase his skills. A surprise free narrative is more than compensated for by the impressive staging of graphic visual FX, cameras caressing bimbos and tongue in cheek satire of the genre.
The exuberant make up effects and CG components from the crew are worthy of Oscar consideration. A few highlights include bodies ripped asunder, a devoured and regurgitated penis, a motor boat scalping and numerous other memorable demises.
The color considerate, perspective conscious cinematography of John R Leonetti (Detroit Rock City, The Woods) gives the whole thing a pastiche of extravagant sensory delight. Shot in 2D then converted to 3D, the technology here is vivaciously appropriate with in your face puking, heaving breasts and flesh ripping consumption taken to a new dimension. An underwater skinny dip turned ballet is unashamedly given false integrity with its affectionate composition.
Where the original film was labeled a Jaws rip off for its premise alone, here we get several knowing references to that Carcharodon carcharias adventure and it adds to the nostalgia. Abandoning the social commentary of John Sayles original script, the writers Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg (Sorority Row remake) never get stalled by exposition or deeper meaning. They are only concerned with pacing a steady flow of gratuitous deaths and bouncing mammary glands. The characters are all sketches that rely on the actors to bring personality and the casting guarantees that the key components are clear.
Making a welcome return is former Karate Kid distraction Elisabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas, Mysterious Skin). As the out of her depth Sherriff she is part Chief Brody and part Ellen Ripley. Of all the name brand actors present she is the only one who is not a glorified cameo.
Marcelus Wallis goes medievil on some fish.
As the ‘Wild Wild Girls” purveyor of smut Jerry O’Connell (Stand By Me) goes over the top impersonating real life ‘Girls Gone Wild” entrepreneur Joe Francis. It’s no coincidence that several real life porn stars (Ashlynn Brooke, Gianna Michaels) also turn up to become victims of the hungry predators.
kelly Brooks assets on display.
Rare is a remake that comes close to its predecessor and as such Piranha can be seen as a success. Disobeying most all the rules JD usually places on such an endeavor, this one dumbs down the already anemic premise and offers nothing more than surface entertainment. It’s not that Johnny is ashamed that he was laughing out loud through most of the film, but that with his pun heavy review he makes it public knowledge that he can embrace this kind of mindless excursion with ebullience. It’s a film that will go down much better with a few buds, a case of beer and a healthy dose of cynicism. A great selection for that Halloween party when you wait till everyone is appropriately inebriated before pressing play.
Trailer for Piranha 3D
The cast and crew discuss Piranha 3D
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Nice review JD.
If this film gets an oscar for a 3D floating dick I will forever salute the Academy hahahaha.
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I didn't notice any wings on the giant Piranha at the end. Just figured the little ones could jump high enough to pull Kelly Brook in so stands to reason the adults would leap further.
These are also prehistoric fish unlike the original so its safe to assume they used to bring down Brontosaurus and other dinosaurs.
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Yep, that dick line is quotable alright. Such mindless fun.
Dick or no dick, the FX in this were of a higher caliber than I have seen in sometime. If the academy is objective (which they aren't) it should at least be in the running. If they have a new category for best use of 3D technology then this should also get a nod for breasts, blood and bodily destruction.
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I had a little something before viewing and imagine without it I may have felt dirty for having such a good time
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Could go either way. This is a completely empty vessel with little to offer beyond the tits and teeth I mentioned in the review.
That being said if you have a few beers and a couple of pals around on Halloween you could do worse. Just know that it is so stupid even I'm surprised I enjoyed it.
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Thanks Jason,
I heard about the 3DD badge for the second. Its meant to be Directed by the guy that did Feast and also the writers of Feast and Saw.
You can read the article HERE
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Thanks for dropping in. Have you seen Piranha yet?