JohnDoe
Bryn
Brenton
Tom Hanks Confirms Oscars Conspiracy!
Tom Hank's startling confession.
Tom Hanks pleads for forgivness
Riddled with guilt and unable to keep quite anymore, multiple Academy Award winner Tom Hanks has admitted that the ceremony is a complete fraud in an interview published today.
For years now the Oscars have seemed to Award the most generic performances and films while ignoring those who truly excel in their field. Speculation that the contest has been rigged for decades now seems to be true.
Despite the vigorous efforts by Academy heads to keep the secret, the statements made at a press conference earlier this year to promote the film Charlie Wilson’s War have now been made public.
Charlie Wilson's War Poster
In the interview, the star of Splash admits, “I had to take a backdoor approach to my campaigning for the gold statue for Forrest Gump”.
He continues, “Sexual favours are the only way to ensure a win…I am not proud of my actions but in order to get a trophy you have to be willing to do what the other guy won’t”
Shocking members of the world press, Julia Robert’s, Hank’s co star in Charlie Wilson’s War also came clean stating, “I am so ashamed…back in 2000 I had to put an 83 year old Weiner in my mouth just to get nominated for Erin Brockovich.”
Julia opens wide
According to those who were there Robert’s was in tears as she revealed this startling revelation. Insiders have said, “What began as a press conference ended up becoming a confessional”
Joe Smith, a reporter for an unnamed entertainment quarterly says, “It was like nothing I have ever witnessed, unprecedented in 23 years in the business.”
This revelation that confirms the often touted “Sexual favours Conspiracy theory” is sending shock waves through Hollywood and the rest of the world.
An unnamed source has said, “Damage control is now in full effect and every effort is being made to try and return some level of credibility to the ceremony before next year”.
Online mogul John Doe of jdmfilmreviews had only this to say, “Happy April Fools day!”
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
Expected nothing less from the doyen of practical jokes.
Cheers
MNG
Film & TV on DVD
Hope you got a laugh out of it before I showed my hand with the "83 year old weiner" line.
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Film & TV on DVD
I'm sure you know how much I despise Hanks and Roberts lack of acting skills, so for me this is the only tangible explanation for their wins.
Film & TV on DVD
Neither would I, thats why it seemed to be the perfect April fools day prank.
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
maybe it was my growing loathing of that homogenised Hanks that put me off guard...I was starting to develop some respect for him...damn...and the Roberts idea seemed to fit perfectly..
however, one wonders about socio/political considerations at times. Years ago I met Al Daff, who boasted about his "Academy" card, actually taking it out to try and intimidate an actor arguing with him at the time, (this was in the seventies, and Daff was out here to try and get big studios in the door, the locals were scared it would eliminate Aussie films, making us a back lot, they won actually, keeping the Hollywood studio system out.).
I remember Daff bragging, "There are only 3,000 members who vote!"
I wondered about who made up the membership, information that was not freely available back then, don't know about now...
cheers,
and you will keep, as they say!
fog
Film & TV on DVD
82 seemed too young and 84 seemed to old, so 83 seemed like the perfect shrivelled up member to picture in Julia's scary wide jawed teethy gob.
Film & TV on DVD
I think you and I are on the same page with these two blights on the film world.
man you move interesting circles, is that Al Daff the writer of Once Were Warriors that your talking about?
Always awesome to see you drop by.
Flick Wit
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I used to quite like Tom Hanks - I still adore him in Forrest Gump - but he has gone way downhill. The Terminal... Lord.
I knew this was a prank the moment I hovered over the title and saw 'jdmfilm...' So you, JD.
Mich
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
just looked it up, you are thinking of New Zealander Alan Duff.
Al Daff was a studio flunky for Hollywood, that I remember. He was sent out here in the early seventies, as the Australian film industry was having a brief renaissance of sorts, and he was trying to get the Federal Government, Labor, to agree to allow the big studios to make their films here, because we had talented technicians and actors, who could fill the backgrounds(!), who were were all cheap. And of course, there was the Federal Government investment programme, giving a guaranteed 150 per cent return on film investment!
Many were made, most did not see the light of day! The silly government did not phrase the grants properly, allowing you to get your 150 percent once the film was shot, it said nothing about actually showing the thing! So many unscrupulous people got into making crap films.
This caused the Aussie film industry to collapse more than anything else I suspect, because all the wrong people got involved.
A family member of mine, and other notable figures in the local industry at the time, all protested that, if they allowed Hollywood in, it would be the death of our own Aussie style cinema.
Hollywood lost, we won...temporarily. After that, the Aussie films took a nose dive. Now look at us...
cheers
fog
P.S. I found Daff to be a big talking, self promoting, dismissive, arrogant, egomaniac! But, I was in my late teens and felt a little righteous, and he was presented as the bad guy, trying to destroy our industry. I remember that he had a deep whisky like American accent.
cheers
fog
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
i was totally taken in!
thats the first april fools thing ive seen all day, and theres only 15 minutes left in my part of the world!
Bucket Snipets
What's Your Story?
Big Day Plunge
Movies and Life
I was aghast at this bit (and totally fooled):
Shocking members of the world press, Julia Robert’s, Hank’s co star in Charlie Wilson’s War also came clean stating, “I am so ashamed…back in 2000 I had to put an 83 year old Weiner in my mouth just to get nominated for Erin Brockovich.”
Great gag, JD.
Tracy
Film & TV on DVD
You know me to well
Film & TV on DVD
As informative and entertaining as ever
Film & TV on DVD
My work here is done, I can fall a sleep satisfied now!
Thank you.
Film & TV on DVD
Again i have to apologise for not letting your own gag go the distance.
Film & TV on DVD
Glad to be of service..
Bucket Snipets
Film & TV on DVD
It just seemed logical at the time. I woke up and thought what is a believable April fools day gag and kaboom it wrote itself...admittedly the first draft was a lot more crass and extreme though..
Always a pleasure to entertain and amuse.
Movies and Life
I'd like to see that original draft, crass and extreme sounds interesting....
Tracy
Love Speaks
Food Slate
A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That
Nice April Fools
Celebrity Obsession
Film & TV on DVD
Maybe one day I might release some "Directors Cuts" of my posts...eg: I did one when Heath Ledger died that I decided was to callous for the time because I was certainly not a fan, in fact quite the opposite (Except for his part in Monster's Ball I thought he was clumsy and very self conscious. eg Brokeback Mountain)
Will eventually share some though I'm sure, once i lure more readers into a false sense of security
Film & TV on DVD
Haven't seen you round these parts for a while and your presence has been missed.
I'm so glad this little gag experiment provided some entertainment.
Film & TV on DVD
If my junk is still in play at 70 it will make me smile.
Thanks for the kudos.
Film & TV on DVD
Although it really WOULD explain a lot. I mean, Marisa Tomei won that Oscar for My Cousin Vinnie...
Film & TV on DVD
Happy to be of service.
I don't mind Marisa Tomei but totally agree that Vinnie was no more of an Oscar worthy performance than Hank's stereotyping role in the hollow Forrest Gump or Julia's pedestrian efforts in Brokovich..all left me dismayed and pondering answers...none should have even been nominated....I really do half believ the story I rote above, it seems the only logical explanation other than financial bribery.
Horrorphile
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Morgan was right, it was worht the click over here!
Wierd.
L...
Mum's Word
I'm here courtesy of Morgan's top ten list.
I thought he would have taken the back door approach for his Oscar for Philadelphia. Show the judges he had really become one with the character and all that
Love & stuff
Mrs M